Driving permit
Mood:  happy
Topic: Jokes & Fun
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a Minister, if they could discuss his use of the family car.

His father took him into his study and said, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the Bible a little, get your hair cut and then we'll talk about it."

After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father's study where the father said, "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied the Bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut."

The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking a bout that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."

The Minister said, "Yes, and everywhere they went, they walked."

Some home remedies
Mood:  happy
Topic: Jokes & Fun
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
8. Sometimes We Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are... You need only two tools: WD- 40and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves andshouldn't, use the duct tape.
9. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."
10. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
11. Never pass up an opportunity to potty.
12. If You Woke up Breathing, Congratulations! You have another chance!
13. And Finally... Be Really Good To Your Family and Friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan!

The Ten Commandments
Topic: Jokes & Fun
Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good, logical reason for removing the Ten Commandments monument from the Alabama Supreme Court building.
You cannot post things like "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Chain Letters
Mood:  happy
Topic: Jokes & Fun
Read the comment

The City Boy's Donkey
Mood:  happy
Topic: Jokes & Fun
read the comment

jrp34
Mood:  quizzical
This club is just about dead, but the Tripod club is pretty hopping. Back when we were on Lycos Communities, I was pretty sure that Angelfire had the more active club.

So, I wonder what happend?

Do we link to the Tripod Club in more places? More visible places? Does just being active promote being more active?

So, go ahead and post damnit! :)

error404.html
Greg and JP
The error404.html is not working, is it for all members

Lost in the Translation
Mood:  happy
Topic: Jokes & Fun
read the comment

TIRED AND OVERWORKED
Mood:  happy
Topic: Jokes & Fun
read the comment

Learn to speak Chinese in 5 minutes!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Jokes & Fun
read the comment

Will Roger's Quips
Mood:  happy
Topic: Jokes & Fun
read the comment

AF Update
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Mambo de Chocobo
Topic: News
I'm not sure if I can do this regularly, but I thought it might be nice to post a quick summary of some of the changes to the site from the last week. This isn't a full list, really just the things that I can immediately remember.

1. There was a major update to WebStats feature (for Argon accounts and above) where the traffic summary and graphing tool will now show all your traffic for the last month, not just in one-day increments. The interface for the feature hasn't changed yet though and there are still some open bugs that are known and being worked on.

2. CGI scripts placed in subdirectories of your /cgi-bin/ directory will now work properly. This was a bug. There are still bugs that Lycos Domains-assigned accounts can't use their domainnames in conjunction with CGI scripts, but that is also being worked on. (CGI also requires an Argon account or better.)

In addition, there was a lot of other cleanups and other minor bits that changed. For example, all the accounts with the recursive listings (as reported here the other day) have been fixed.

So, if this kind of information is useful to be posted here, please let me know. I have to run it by the powers-that-be to make sure we don't 'give too much away', but mentioning the problems fixed and new features seems pretty reasonable to me.

may be a bug
Greg and JP,
Check the pages in /tx/ you may have a bug the user directory clones itself to too many subdirectories, it makes it imposable to login.

it happened to /tx/bowden she had to use ftp to clean it out.

Can't get to the web shell
The owner of this site https://www.angelfire.com/tx/mimms/ cannot get to the web shell to edit the site. She gets error message. "This page cannot be displayed".

any idea

Blog Update
Topic: News
Two minor updates went out for blogs today. Both of these fixes apply primarily to "open communities" and won't really be that useful for individual user blogs. (The intention is to let all users atart their own open communities eventually, but we're ironing out the bugs first using the Clubs as the 'beta' sites for the new features.)

1. Comment moderation has been improved. If you post to a community blog (such as the club), you now have access to moderate all the comments in response to your post. Some other aspects of moderation have also been cleaned up.

2. Topic selection has been fixed. All members should now be able to correctly set the topic for new posts.

This release also introduces two 'Club Dread'-themed blog templates.

JP

HELP
Mood:  irritated
I have been trying for 3 days now to upgrade my service, right? Well everytime I get to the part where I have to set up an ALias, I keep getting a red message stating that name is already in use.. Well It can't be!! I have even tried names like jgndjjknlcf and it still says its been taken!!!
I am so frustrated I want to scream, I think I have tried about 50 different alias's, amde up ones, crazy ones! no matter what, it still says the same.. I emailed twice about this problem but angelfire has not written back. Has anyone else had this problem? any idea how to reslove it??? Please , Please HELP

Thank You!!

Why, why, why...
Mood:  irritated
When I edit my page, and then preview, all of my gifs, icons, etc. show up, but if I view the page itself, only a few show, the rest are replaced by those annoying red X boxes...

Help -- Can't set up web folder or ftp in network places
Mood:  quizzical
Tried many days to set up a web folder or ftp access to my Angelfire directory. I'm using Home XP. There is no icon for web folder in my network places.

Tried ftp.angelfire.com/.... , and it denies access saying " ..... 505 permission denied /...subdomain/subsubdomain... does not exist. (It prompted for id and password first and I gave it).

Note ftp access works ok for other domains hosted elsewhere.

HELP PLEASE.

Ed

To club, JP or afgreg
Mood:  chillin'
Is there a way to disable the html in the comments, I tried to post html code to show. it did not work I tried < > they work fine in the preview but not in the final post

Frame help
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: Frame help
I have recently added frames to my webpage (www.angelfire.com/comics/mutie/index.html). However, when I click on a link in the left frame it does not appear in the right frame, like I want. Instead it appears in the left frame. Can anyone tell me what I am doing wrong?

I do think that someone else may have had the same problem once or twice, but I cannot scan the boards to find out if this is true.